Amanda is waiting. She had thought the church service started at ten o’clock. She didn’t realize until she was half way there that it does not start until ten-thirty. She makes this mistake almost every week.

            She is waiting for her mother, step-father, and siblings to arrive and fill the five seats she has saved for them. She has been house-sitting for her boyfriend’s family who is vacationing in Italy for two weeks and has not been home for the last week and a half. She misses her family. Today she will only be with them during the service and she must leave to get ready for work as soon as it is over. She wishes she did not work on weekends.

            A family files into the row of seats behind her. She feels awkward listening to their conversation and sitting alone. Every few minutes she turns around to look past the family to see if her family has arrived yet. Every few minutes a different family walks down the isle eying the five empty seats, but they pass by when they see the sweater and bag Amanda has laid over them marking them as saved. She wishes her family would get here because she is chilly and wants to put her sweater on. The green and black sweater doesn’t actually belong to Amanda. She grabbed it out of her boyfriend’s laundry basket the other day and has been using it all week.

            A woman steps onto the stage in the high school auditorium the church holds its service in. She talks about communication and the band plays the chorus to a Led Zeppelin song. One of the things that drew Amanda in was the music they play. The woman steps back onto the stage and says another few words about how people talk then the band plays another few seconds of a popular 80’s song. This happens a few more times until the band breaks into a full-length cover a popular country song about a woman who talks too much about herself. Amanda’s family still has not arrived.

            When the song has ended the singer steps to the front and begins to give this week’s announcements. She is about seven or eight months pregnant and her protruding belly button creeps Amanda out. Protruding belly buttons always give her heebie-jeebies. She wonders what she will do when she is pregnant one day. Finally her family begins to file into the seats she has saved for them. When she first sees them from the corner of her eye she thinks they might be a different family, but when she looks there is no doubt that they belong to her. Amanda’s younger brother squeezes past the rest of the family so that he is seated next to her. She wonders if he has been missing her.

            The rest of the service goes by as usual. Amanda always notices how pastors are experts at making a large group laugh one second and remain silent and solemn the next. They know just how to cut to your heart when you least expect it, in a good way, of course.

            At the end of the service the band plays a song that particularly catches Amanda’s attention. “You desire truth in the deepest parts, not an offering or sacrifice,” is the lyric that resonates in her heart. Lately she has been contemplating her relationship with God and exactly what it means keep that relationship healthy. To her, the lyric tells her what she has been needing to hear, that one of the underlying truths about a relationship with God is to not hide in fear from Him, but to be truthful and honest and to open yourself up to him completely. It gives her hope.

            When the service is ended Amanda invites her brother to spend the night and swim at her boyfriend’s house the day after her sisters spend the night. He seems somewhat excited. Either way she is excited to spend time with him. They get along well for the most part, though since he started high school and joined the wrestling team his favorite hobby has been getting revenge on all the times she picked on him when they were younger. It is always weird when younger siblings grow larger than you. She kisses her sisters and mom goodbye and walks out to her car. Her cowboy boots clunk on the sidewalk with each step. The sound is almost as good as skateboard wheels on sidewalk, she thinks.